Featured News

This was the year the Grech stole Christmas
From an unlucky Malcolm Turnbull
He went from the top in a hell of a drop
The first Climate Change victim to fall.

His Ruddship also felt failure
When his carbon plan fell on the floor
With no tax on hot air, he’s now full of fear
That his deficits may lead to the door.

On the dignified stretch of North Terrace
A scandal broke called Chantelois (pronounced "shant tell loys")
A whack on the cheek created a reek
And premier row for the media boys.

But life went on back in the real world
Where cash slowed despite Kevvie’s largesse,
The clouds are now clearing, The End we’re not fearing
Though the cheque’s still in the mail I confess.

Impress has weathered another year
Despite the typos and punitive puns
When Hackett is soaring, life’s never boring
With Northline’s trucks thrown in for fun.

This was also the year I turned 50
And discovered we’re expecting a son
My mate Dave said goodbye and chose how to die
So it’s not a year I want to re-run.

Yet as 2009 reels to its demise
May your Christmas be full of good cheer
With my last line I salute you la chaim
And look forward to see you all next year.

Holiday availability:

Impress Media Australia is closed from Monday, December 21, 2009, to Monday, January 4, 2010 inclusive. John Harris is available by email at jharris@impress.com.au. 

Related News

  • The Hammer of Eden by Ken Follett When a 25-year-old wine-making commune of ex-hippies in California is threatened by a planned hydroelectric dam, its charismatic leader Ricky “Priest” Granger concocts a plot to s...
  • The Cold Moon by Jeffrey Deaver This is one of Deaver’s Lincoln Rhyme novels, about a quadriplegic criminalist who solves crimes from a forensic lab in his Upper West Side apartment, by Central Park. Wh...
  • Second Glance by Jodi Piccoult   When a developer buys a farm in rural Vermont, weird things start to happen in the tiny town of Comtosook: Rose petals rain from a clear sky; soil freezes in the middle of sum...